In my early twenties, I had recently gone back to college after being laid off from my dream job. I came to realize something strange: I had started to dread the weekend.
One Friday afternoon, it hit me. I was sitting in the common area of the college campus shortly before lunch. The campus was emptying out. I was a nontraditional student and I attended a satellite campus. No one lived at school. Friday was a short day for most people, so the campus was mostly empty after lunch. I realized that a certain feeling of dread had become routine. The emptying of the campus hall was the harbinger of a dark cloud of loneliness that would be my only companion for the next 48+ hours. It was strange, because as a kid I’d always looked forward to the weekend as the best part of my week.
That Friday afternoon, I came to realize something that I continue to lean on more than 20 years later. I needed more stress in my life. When my stress levels dip too low, I sink into depression, become antisocial, and can run the risk of making very bad decisions. Thankfully I know how to recognize the early warnings now.
I eventually came to learn of a sweet spot where stress becomes a positive force – what psychologists call “eustress.” At optimal stress levels, individuals often experience flow states, characterized by deep concentration and peak productivity. You know you’ve hit this optimal zone when you lose track of time and distractions fade away. Social media notifications, snack cravings, and other distractions lose their pull. I’ve found that the problem largely disappears when I have the right number of things to focus on in a given day.
Sometimes I’ve found that I’m thriving under a high stress level, only to feel the stress evaporate once the most time-critical tasks are completed. I’ve learned a variety of tactics for pumping my stress level back up so that I will regain motivation. Typically I begin by eliminating all priorities but one. I am most prone to insufficient stress when I am multitasking or thinking about too many things at once. I function optimally when focused on one thing at a time.
I don’t have a magic bullet here or a one-size-fits-all solution. But I think we need to change the narrative of stress. It is more useful to think of stress like blood pressure. Your blood pressure can be too high or too low. We don’t strive for a life free from blood pressure. Stress is neither good nor bad; it is an inherent part of being alive.
