Creating Engaging Meetings: It’s Not the Agenda, It’s You

Let’s face it: if your meetings are boring and unproductive, it’s not because you need a new agenda template or a fancy icebreaker. It’s because there’s something way bigger going on—and yes, it might have something to do with you. Meetings are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to organizational health, and the truth is, bad meetings reveal bad leadership. Ouch, right?

Don’t worry, though. I’m not here to just point fingers (well, maybe a little). I’ll walk you through how to create meetings that don’t suck—and spoiler alert: it starts with you taking personal accountability for the culture you’re creating.

Signs You’re Running Ineffective Meetings (And Yes, You Probably Are)

So, what does an ineffective meeting look like? Let’s paint a picture. There’s your weekly status update. The same people talk (or don’t), everyone’s pretending to listen, and most of the information being shared is irrelevant to at least 75% of the room. Half the team is on their phones, and the other half is plotting their escape. Sound familiar?

Here are a few classic signs you’ve lost your audience:

  • One-word answers—because why bother elaborating?
  • Lack of participation—they’d rather read their emails than engage.
  • Minimal initiative—people are doing the bare minimum, if that.
  • Inappropriate affect—the nasty kind of laughter or smiling at someone’s misfortune
  • “CYA” emails after the meeting—because they don’t believe you’ll follow through unless deniability is removed.

If any of this sounds painfully familiar, congratulations—you’ve got some trust issues. And no, a “team-building day” won’t fix the issue.

The Real Problem: It’s Not the Meeting, It’s the Leadership

Let’s be clear: ineffective meetings are not the actual problem—they’re just a symptom. The real issue? Leadership. More specifically, your leadership. If your meetings are dull, uninspiring, or outright hostile, it’s likely because you, as a leader, haven’t created an environment where people feel safe, respected, or motivated to contribute.

Think about it: would you participate enthusiastically in a meeting if you didn’t trust the person leading it? Exactly. And if you’re thinking, “I’m doing all the right things and my staff just needs to get their act together,” then you might as well stop reading here because there is no hope for you.

As Lou Gerstner once said, “You don’t get points for predicting rain. You get points for building arks.” If you are tired of pointing out problems and watching your team do nothing in response, then perhaps the problem is yours alone to fix. If you are serious about addressing the fundamental issues in your company and willing to lead by example, then the rest of the article is for you.

The Five-Step Fix: Let’s Get Real About Change

Ready to tackle your leadership issues? Good. Here’s a no-nonsense, five-step plan to get started:

  1. Self-reflect (and actually mean it)
    Ask yourself some hard questions. Have you created an environment where people feel safe to speak up? Are you the problem? Now, ask someone else because your self-assessment is probably a bit… generous.
  2. Take corrective action (quietly)
    Don’t make a big announcement about how you’re “changing things around here.” Just do it. Start leading better, listening more, and micromanaging less—without making it a PR campaign.
  3. Figure out how your behavior has affected your team
    Newsflash: how you lead directly impacts how your team behaves. If you notice disengagement or defensiveness, you might want to consider how your actions (or inactions) are fostering that environment. Spoiler: it’s usually you.
  4. Confront bad behavior (and fire people if you have to)
    Is someone on your team consistently disengaged or negative, while you avoid dealing with the issue? Everyone on your team has noticed. Try putting a turd in a punchbowl and pretending it’s not there. Toxic behavior is your responsibility alone to address, and no one will respect you if you let it slide.
  5. Have one-on-one meetings to fix the real problems
    Here’s a shocker: not everything needs to be handled in a big group. In fact, many large meetings could be replaced by quick huddles with just a few people. You’ll get more done, and your team will thank you for not making them sit through another pointless hour of “updates” that could have been an email.

Implementation: Expect Some Immediate (and Long-Overdue) Changes

So, you’re making changes. How fast can you expect results? Well, if you do this right, you’ll start to see improvement in team dynamics within weeks. If people start talking more in meetings, or even volunteering ideas, congratulations—you’ve started to build the first glimmer of trust. Over the next 90 days, you might even see this start to impact your bottom line, but obviously there are a lot of factors that can affect response lag.

Sustaining the Momentum

Real change takes time, and guess what? You don’t get to just “fix” your meeting culture and move on. You need to make the change stick. Here’s how:

  • Daily accountability: create a daily habit of checking in with yourself on your key areas of improvement.
  • Enlist support from a mentor or peer professional: A peer professional could be a friend who holds a similar position at a different company. The key is to get outside perspective from someone who is not one of your direct reports.
  • Restructure the agenda: I purposefully put this point at the end of the article rather than the beginning. While a new agenda is ultimately necessary to convey and reinforce a change, the change needs to be real.
  • Invite your team to be part of the solution. After trust has been established, if you emerge from your cave and announce solutions that your team had no opportunity to be consulted on, the newly formed trust will evaporate and you’ll have an even harder time rebuilding it again.

The Bottom Line: Want Better Meetings? Be a Better Leader

Here’s the harsh truth: meetings reflect leadership, and if your meetings are terrible, it’s time to stop blaming the agenda or the team and start taking a hard look at yourself. Fix the trust issues. Build a real team. Lead better in the ways you already know how to.

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Dave

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