Nothing grabs my attention like a fellow cynic who thinks down the same twisted corridors that my mind inhabits. No two of us are alike, mind you, but there are certain elements that we all share in common. Jamie Varon, a fellow Twittizen (slang shorthand for “Twitter citizen”), had mildly piqued my curiosity with a few of her tweets. Then, she caught me at just the right time of day with a tweet about her blog. The current posting brought a smile to my face. After seeing that, I proceeded to read a number of her other posts.

The blog post contained a beautifully sarcastic video decrying the jewelry industry’s shameless exploitation of gender stereotypes. The video showed me that there exists a subculture of women who have rejected the white-picket-fence dream life that I’ve been striving to avoid like the plague. But I’ll tell you what really got me: I realized that there exists an entire generation of women who highly respect men and want to get to know us for who we really are, not for some cookie-cutter idealistic doll house picture of who we’re supposed to be. Could the so-called Battle of the Sexes finally be breathing its dying gasp?

I don’t mean to get off on a tirade about societal trends and my opinions about them, so let’s get back to the main point: the blog post had something in it for me. It was something real that I identified with, and something fresh I hadn’t seen before. And now I feel like I know something about who Jamie is, even though I’ve never met her, probably never will, and don’t even know what city she lives in. And it doesn’t matter. I got to know a little slice of Jamie through what she’s posted, and indeed got to know something about all women that I hadn’t seen before.

Thank you, Jamie.

I always hated it when my extraverted sales managers told me, “Don’t ever pre-judge anyone.” No, I’m not prejudiced against anyone, but I knew what was always coming next. “Just pick up the phone and call them!” Or, “You never know until you ask!” Something along those lines. Now, looking back on the last couple of months, I agree with the problem, but certainly not the solution.

I agree that pre-judging doesn’t make sense. One thing that I’ve learned in my life is that there’s no accounting for what’s going on in someone else’s head. Hell, sometimes I can’t make any sense of what’s going on in MY head. But that doesn’t mean you have to be obtuse and ignore the obvious. While it’s certainly true that some of the most unlikely prospects could one day become your best customers, certainly there are less painful ways of finding out than what traditional sales organizations will recommend to you.

Pre-judging is emotional, and it’s based on assumptions. Pre-judging screens out the wrong people. Pre-qualifying, on the other hand, is factual, and is based on direct measurable observations. When you qualify or disqualify a prospect, you can walk away feeling good about what you found either way.

Instead of trying to sell everyone, instead of throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping for some of it to stick, and instead of calling all of your friends and relatives, hoping for their answering machines to pick up, reciting some God-awful sales script, and holding your breath, why not put some effort into coming up with a tactful question to ask? Better yet, how about a fun question to ask? How about coming up with a question that will pique the interest of a good prospect, and get a “sounds great; good luck with that” out of a bad one?

Here’s a little tip. Try going to a leads group to try out your qualifying question. Those places are full of people who don’t mind being sold to, and who probably won’t remember you if they see you again. A great place to try out the effectiveness of a sales question. More on this in later weeks.

Why do we all think that being committed means doing everything the hard way? Where did we get the idea that we have to suffer to be successful?

If you ever need a good success model, take a look at water. Water is really smart stuff. It follows the path of least resistance and it gets where it’s going. It doesn’t make excuses, it doesn’t quit, it doesn’t have self-esteem issues, and it doesn’t make to-do lists.

When it encounters a boulder, it doesn’t break through it (not usually anyway). It goes around. It’s not concerned with being right. It’s not concerned with conquering or vanquishing anything.

It just flows.

That’s what commitment is like.